i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
