im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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