He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
