you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
