Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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