ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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