I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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