Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
