She's JV to your varsity
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
