and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
