Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
