It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
