Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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