I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
