I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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