I am puke
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
