How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
