With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
