Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
