I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
