I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am naked and annoyed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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