Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sorry about my life...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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