I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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