I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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