Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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