yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
