I'm jealous of your bromance
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
