Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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