I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
