Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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