He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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