Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this

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(765): View more from Indiana

4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.

Fav 35 5922 902
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

well apparently not.

Fav 50 1713 5753
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(785): View more from Kansas

i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up

Fav 10 5082 1056
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(678): View more from Georgia

Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.

Fav 4 3626 1156
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?

Fav 8 757 1656
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(916): View more from California

WHY did you say no to the sex seance?

Fav 4 901 796
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(785): View more from Kansas

I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.

Fav 0 112 120
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(816): View more from Missouri

Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.

Fav 0 21 39
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