I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
