I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
