He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
