I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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