Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
where does the pee come out of this thing
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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