Sry I called you an 8
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
