She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
