i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
