WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
