We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
