Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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