i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
