if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
