She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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