i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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