guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
