haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
