I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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